A: Mountain Groan

---

Songween: This used to be the capital of the Maramasai. Legend has it that the mother of the first Empress took her to this very spot, and said, "See all this? One day, it will all be yours." And so they named this peak Mount Cialis.

---

(Long silence)

---

Kathy: You guys don't get television here, do you?
Songween: No— why do you ask?

---

B: Gone With The Wind

---

Songween: I was a happy kid. My mom called me "Song." She had me when my other older sisters wouldn't stop arguing over which of them would become Duchess. They never forgave her, and they never forgave me. She sent me to America to keep me safe from them.
Songween: When she died, they "forgot" to plug in the freezer, so that when I got back here, I wasn't able to perform her funeral rites. I never forgave them for that. It made me bitter and angry.
Songween: I've led the life of a brutal, bloodthirsty tyrant. Now, in my lonely old age, I realize that I've ruined my country, and the only person who can save it is the son of one of my worst enemies...