Sandy: I dunno... I still think Baabette was overreacting. It's not so hard to be a mom.
Teena: Oh? And just when did you become a mother...?

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Sandy: I helped raise Dave's two boys, remember?
Teena: No! No!! That doesn't count!

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Teena: You can't be a mother until you've spent forty-seven hours pushing a bowling ball through a p-trap!