A: A Different Kind Of Cuirass

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Fred: This may look like ordinary Brigade skirmishing armour, but it is actually a custom order from one of my father's R&D laboratories. It is made with the traditional cuir-bouilli over an inner layer of high-tech material adapted from plastic clamshell packaging technology. It is damn near indestructible.

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Fred: It is worn over a tunic of a proprietary diamond-graphene nanofibre woven with a fine wool matrix for enhanced impenetrability and heat dissipation. The fabric is smocked for extra give. My mother sent this to me after my duel with Jinjur in case she wanted a rematch.

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Jade: Hah! What did I tell you? Kevlar bubble-wrap!
Fred: Your weaponized lingerie won't work against Jinjur!

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B: Swashbuckler

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Fred: Around your waist goes the cingulum militare, also knows as the baltea, or pteruges. As you probably know, the weighted leather straps protect your legs, without impeding movement. This one's got titanium strips sandwiched between the leather.

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Fred: Let me see how this fits on you— hmph, might be a wee bit snug... In Swahili, it's called the sketi ya shujaa, or warrior-skirt. The Brigadiers have a nickname for it, based on the sound it makes when you walk in one—

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Koz: Hey Lieutenant— shouldn't you be unbuckling her "swash"—?
Fred: —which leads to some rather ribald humour.